[Sportschosun reporter Jeong An-ji] Seo Jang-hoon opened up about his own experience and offered heartfelt advice to a prospective groom who has been caring for his mother for 11 years.
On the 31st episode of KBS Joy’s ‘Ask Us Anything Fortune Teller,’ a prospective groom who had been caring for his mother for 11 years appeared on the show and opened up about his increasingly serious concerns ahead of his marriage.
The man said he was caring for his mother, who had suddenly collapsed from a brain hemorrhage 11 years earlier and had been bedridden for 11 years with a Grade 1 brain lesion disability. He explained that his concerns had grown as he prepared to marry his girlfriend.
After surgery, his mother received help from a hospital caregiver for six months, but because the cost was too high, he personally provided round-the-clock care for the next two years. Fortunately, she gradually improved from an unconscious state to a state of impaired consciousness, allowing him to bring her home.
As he prepared for marriage, the man was also considering changing how he provided care. He said, “Once I get married, I will move out,” adding, “During the day on weekdays, we have a caregiver, and my older sister and I take turns providing care from 10 p.m. to 8 a.m. every other day.” He continued, “Shouldn’t I gradually reduce how often I provide direct care after getting married?” and added, “My sister is married too. She comes only at night three or four times a week and alternates between our family home and her newlywed home to provide care every other day.”
He admitted, “I thought, ‘I could just follow my sister’s example.’ Ultimately, isn’t it only natural for my mother to no longer be in my care? I understand it intellectually, but I’m having difficulty accepting it emotionally.”
Fortunately, his girlfriend understood his situation well. During their seven-year relationship, she had visited his mother herself, and her parents also knew about and understood the situation.
Seo Jang-hoon said, “I had a similar experience in the past,” and shared his own story: “As a son, if I entrust my mother to someone else and can’t check on her often, I feel as if I’m committing a sin. I had those thoughts too.” Seo Jang-hoon lost his mother in 2024. His mother was reportedly ill for a long time.
However, he said, “I think continuing to care for your mother as you do now even after marriage would show a lack of consideration for your wife. You would be forcing her to make too great a sacrifice.” He emphasized, “Being able to balance your mother and your wife is also your responsibility,” adding, “Haven’t you gained someone else you need to care for just as much as your mother?”
Seo Jang-hoon said, “In the long run, I think the right thing would be for the three of you to pool your money and move your mother to a hospital with good facilities, easing your feelings of guilt.” He explained, “There are advantages to having her in a hospital. If your mother has an emergency, she can receive an immediate response, can’t she?” He continued, “Everything has pros and cons. If you place her in a hospital, you’ll worry about the cost,” and added, “But when you gain one thing, you have to give up another. It’s difficult to have everything without making that trade-off.”
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