A well-paid fiancé won’t cover a $900 engagement ring without going ‘sharesies’ — and experts aren’t impressed
Getting engaged is supposed to be one of the more romantic milestones in a relationship. It can also be one of the first times a couple is forced to put a very unromantic question on the table: Who pays?
Weddings have never been known for being cheap, and the engagement ring is often the first major expense. But one couple is taking the increasingly popular practice of splitting finances 50/50 to an extreme.
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A woman wrote in to a Washington Postadvice column complaining that her fiancé, who makes good money and is 36 years old, asked her to split the cost of her own $900 engagement ring and, making matters worse, never actually proposed.
For context, couples spent an average of $5,200 on an engagement ring in 2024 There’s also the old three-months’ salary rule, though what someone spends on a ring is ultimately far more personal than any decades-old formula would suggest
So, is going “sharesies” on an engagement ring fair or does asking your future spouse to pay for half miss the point?
The 50/50 split
Splitting expenses has become a normal part of many modern relationships, whether it’s rent, dinner or a vacation. And for some couples, finances are shaping much bigger relationship milestones, too.
A 2025 Apartments.com survey found that one-third of renters living with a romantic partner said they moved in together specifically to save money on rent or other living expenses. Nearly a quarter also said monthly budgets and deciding who would pay for what were among their biggest disagreements when choosing a home together.
But an engagement ring occupies slightly different territory.
“It’d be the equivalent of him asking her to pay for half her birthday present,” April Davis, founder and matchmaker at Luma Luxury Matchmaking, told Moneywise.
Davis said the tradition still matters here: The engagement ring is typically viewed as a gift from the person proposing. And in this case, there doesn’t appear to be an obvious financial reason for asking his partner to chip in.
There are circumstances where splitting the cost may be easier to understand. A couple might agree to get engaged sooner than one partner can comfortably afford, for example, or one person may want a ring significantly more expensive than the original budget.
