ASU professor explains how sleep, exercise and nutrition influence patience, emotional regulation and relationships at home, school and work
Most people think of sleep, exercise and nutrition as matters of personal health.
But new research from Arizona State University and the University of San Diego suggests those everyday habits may also shape something equally important: the quality of our relationships.
In a recent article published in The American Journal of Family Therapy, researchers Christopher Neck, from ASU, and Todd Edwards, from USD, propose that lifestyle factors such as sleep, physical activity and diet play an important role in shaping emotional regulation, empathy, patience and communication within families.
Neck and Edwards challenge the idea that relationship problems are driven solely by communication styles or personality differences, pointing instead to the powerful role daily routines play in how we interact with others.
Neck, a professor of management in the W. P. Carey School of Business and a leading expert on self-leadership, says the effects extend well beyond the home. The same habits that shape family dynamics can influence leadership effectiveness, workplace collaboration and organizational performance.
As families prepare for the back-to-school season and professionals navigate increasingly demanding schedules, the research offers a timely reminder that well-being and performance are deeply connected. A good night’s sleep or a consistent routine may do more than improve health — it may improve relationships, decision-making and resilience.
Here, Neck discusses why sleep may be the most important habit for emotional regulation, and how small, consistent lifestyle changes can create positive ripple effects across families, teams and organizations.
Note: Answers have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Question: Your most recent research suggests that sleep, exercise and nutrition affect much more than physical health. What surprised you most about that?
Answer:What surprised me most is how often we think relationship problems are purely communication problems when in reality, physiology may play a significant role. For decades, family therapists have focused on communication patterns, conflict cycles and relationship dynamics. Those things are incredibly important. But what the research increasingly shows is that factors such as sleep, exercise and nutrition influence people’s capacity to communicate effectively in the first place.
A tired parent may be less patient. A sleep-deprived spouse may be more likely to misinterpret a comment as criticism. A physically inactive or poorly nourished person may have less emotional resilience during stressful moments.
One of the central ideas in our paper is that the body is part of the family system. We don’t leave our biology at the door when we enter a conversation. The quality of our sleep, activity levels and even our daily routines can shape how we show up in our relationships.
Q: The study introduces a “Lifestyle Informed Systems Framework.” Can you explain what that is?
A:The framework proposes that lifestyle habits influence families through a series of interconnected feedback loops. Imagine a father who consistently gets only five hours of sleep. That sleep loss affects his biological regulation, leaving him more fatigued, emotionally reactive and less able to manage stress. As a result, he may become more impatient with his children, less empathetic toward his spouse or more likely to escalate conflict. Those interactions don’t occur in isolation. Other family members react to his behavior, which then influences future interactions and family routines. Over time, what began as a sleep issue can start to look like a communication, parenting or relationship problem.
I often use the analogy of a thermostat. Family therapists have traditionally focused on adjusting the temperature of relationships through communication skills, conflict resolution and problem-solving strategies. Those approaches are important, but our framework suggests that lifestyle factors often influence the thermostat itself. Sleep, exercise and nutrition affect the biological and emotional systems that determine how much patience, empathy, self-control and resilience people bring to their relationships. When those systems are depleted, even the best communication strategies become much harder to use effectively.
Our framework suggests that improving communication sometimes requires more than teaching communication skills. It may also involve strengthening the underlying biological and emotional systems that make good communication possible in the first place.
Q: Many families heading into the back-to-school season are juggling new schedules and added stress. Which lifestyle habit — sleep, exercise or nutrition — tends to have the greatest impact on emotional regulation and patience when routines become hectic?
A: If I had to choose one, I would choose sleep. Sleep sits at the foundation of emotional regulation. Research consistently shows that insufficient sleep increases emotional reactivity while reducing our ability to regulate emotions, think clearly and respond thoughtfully. In the paper, we discuss evidence showing that sleep deprivation can reduce empathy, impair conflict resolution and increase hostility during interpersonal interactions. In other words, lack of sleep doesn’t just make us tired — it can make us less effective in our relationships.
The body is part of the family system.
Christopher Neck, professor of management
W. P. Carey School of Business
Q: You’re well known for your work on self-leadership. How do healthy personal habits help people become more effective leaders?
A: One of the foundational principles of self-leadership is that we must first lead ourselves before we can effectively lead others. Whether we’re leading a family, a business team or a classroom, leadership requires emotional regulation, sound judgment, patience, resilience and self-awareness. I often tell students that leadership doesn’t begin when you walk into a meeting. It begins the night before, when you decide whether you’re going to get enough sleep. It begins with choosing habits that support focus, energy and emotional control. In many ways, lifestyle habits are leadership habits.
Think about the qualities we admire in great leaders. We want leaders who remain calm under pressure, listen carefully, make good decisions, show empathy and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Those are all self-regulatory skills. The challenge is that self-regulation doesn’t operate in a vacuum. It depends on having the physical and mental resources to regulate ourselves effectively, and sleep, exercise and nutrition help provide those resources.
Q: What lessons can business leaders take from this research if they want to build stronger, more resilient and collaborative teams?
A: One lesson is that performance and well-being are not competing priorities. They are often deeply connected. Organizations spend enormous amounts of time focusing on strategy, technology and productivity systems. Yet the people implementing those strategies are human beings whose emotional regulation and cognitive functioning are influenced by sleep, physical activity and nutrition. A team of highly skilled employees who are chronically exhausted will often struggle with collaboration, conflict management, creativity and adaptability.
The research suggests that leaders should think of lifestyle factors as organizational resources rather than merely personal choices. Creating cultures that support recovery, reasonable workloads, healthy routines and sustainable performance can improve both employee well-being and organizational effectiveness. Healthy people tend to create healthier teams, and healthier teams tend to create healthier organizations.
Q: For those who feel overwhelmed by the idea of making major lifestyle changes, what is one small, evidence-based adjustment that can produce meaningful improvements in relationships and overall performance?
A:If I were recommending one simple change, it would be creating a consistent evening wind-down routine that helps people get to bed at roughly the same time each night. The reason is that consistency often matters more than people realize.
In our paper, we emphasize the importance of routines because they serve as scaffolding that supports emotional regulation and healthy interactions. Meaningful change begins with building small daily habits, which can feel overwhelming for some. So my advice is to start small and focus on consistency rather than perfection; a slightly more consistent sleep schedule, one shared family meal each week, or a brief walk with a spouse or child can create positive ripple effects throughout an entire family system. Small changes, repeated consistently, often become the foundation for significant improvements over time.
Our culture often celebrates dramatic transformations, but the research suggests that lasting change usually works differently. It’s often less like flipping a switch and more like steering a ship. A small change in direction today may not seem important in the moment, but over weeks and months, it can lead to a very different destination.
FacultyHealthy LivingSDG 03 Good Health and Well-BeingEntrepreneurshipStaffBusinessStudentsBusiness and entrepreneurshipSocial scienceW. P. Carey School of Business
Faculty, Healthy Living, SDG 03 Good Health and Well-Being, Entrepreneurship, Staff, Business, Students, Business and entrepreneurship, Social science, W. P. Carey School of Business
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