U.S. lawyer and broadcaster Seo Dong-ju expressed feelings of self-blame after an IVF failure.
On the 15th, a video titled “While preparing for pregnancy, until Seo Dong-ju let go of her guilt” was uploaded to Seo Dong-ju’s ‘Tto.Do.Dong’ channel.
Seo, who is attempting in vitro fertilization due to infertility, said, “I’m feeling down because empty follicles appeared two months in a row,” and confessed, “Three years ago I quit coffee, try it for three years, I slept well for three years. Now I might have been pregnant. Honestly, I just hate myself so much. My husband gave up more than I did. I thought I only had to take care of myself, but that’s not the case. I felt a little sorry.”
Meeting with an acquaintance, Seo said, “Yesterday the disappointment was quite big. Even when empty follicles appeared, next time at least one egg would come out, but this time there were empty follicles two times in a row,” noting that so far only one embryo has been collected and empty follicles appeared for two consecutive months.
She continued, “Yesterday the doctor told me to get a blood test and wait, so I waited another two hours. The results came out and the doctor said ovulation probably happened the day before or was a little early. That day was National Foundation Day and the hospital was closed. They couldn’t monitor, so I had to go on Monday, but ovulation happened on the substitute holiday. So it was empty, and I asked the sisters in an anonymous group chat and they said, ‘Ask them to do intrauterine insemination.’ But they said even insemination wouldn’t work. They told me to try natural conception instead. If I got pregnant naturally like this, what a miracle that would be,” she revealed.
Strictly managing her diet for IVF, Seo used a cheating day to eat a burger for the first time in a while, and said, “As soon as I heard the term empty follicles I immediately drank a latte, and at night I ate ramen. I also ate egg soy sauce rice with butter. Still, I have to manage starting tomorrow,” adding that she had given up her favorite carbonated drinks.
Seo went to the market to shop, and when asked about the foods that had disappeared from her refrigerator she said, “carbonated drinks.” “I used to drink a lot of soda. I cleaned all of that out and now I drink only filtered water. If I eat greasy food I drink a little zero cola, and I don’t buy it at home at all. ‘Shouldn’t I be able to give up things like that to earn the right to have a child?’ I think that kind of thought is in my head. It seems she’s trying to give those up thoroughly,” she mentioned about her efforts.
Now in her third year of trying IVF, Seo, while blaming herself for repeated failures, said, “Whether I have a child or not, I realized I’m already a person who is overflowing with happiness. I felt I should not be so obsessive and attached,” and said she draws a lot of strength from her husband and acquaintances.
[Photo] capture from Seo Dong-ju’s ‘Tto.Do.Dong’
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