Suddenly at 3 am, Rita decides to change the entire trajectory of her life by waking up at 7 am, eating a healthy breakfast, and studying for 8 hours. However, this plan brings in a little unwanted change, and she wakes up at 8 am instead of 7. She could have focused on making the rest of her day productive. But that didn’t happen; she loses her spirit and wastes the entire day watching random reels on Facebook.
Many of us are literally thinking that Rita is representing us; this is true. This cycle of self-burden and self-doubt is known asMaladaptive Perfectionismoperating through aPerfectionism-ProcrastinationLoop in cognitive psychology.
It is anchored by a cognitive distortion known asDichotomous Thinking(or All-or-Nothing Thinking).
That means a person who seeks absolute flawless output needs to operate through life without any mistakes, which is nearly impossible. This leads them to procrastinate to soothe the mind and thus avoid responsibility.
Several psychological factors are driving this cycle.
To start with, many of us equate our self-worth with our level of achievement.
No win can work as a benchmark for validating a person’s existence, but our brain wires us to get entrapped in such a loop.
Again, the fear of failure or evaluation, also known asAtychiphobia, also works as a reason for the all-or-nothing cycle.
In this factor, any flaw, error, or delay is viewed not as feedback, but as evidence of personal inadequacy. Many people use procrastination to shield their ego instead of confronting their own shortcomings. This is also a driving factor of the problem.
Emotional dysregulation from excessive dopamine rushes from scrolling reels on social media and wasting time on the phone can also cause a person to seek rigid perfection.
The world of social media has made us believe that a person having flaws is not a real concept; this kind of thinking is very dangerous.
Oftentimes, we see people’s polished lives, relationships, and achievements on social media, totally unaware of their frailties, struggles, and ugly cries behind constant burnout from work. However, from what we see, we start to believe that humans can never make any mistakes. The question is, if humans would not make mistakes unconsciously, then who would?
A seminal meta-analysis published inPsychological BulletinbyCurran & Hill (2019)found, over 40,000 college students, that socially prescribed perfectionism increased by 33 per cent over recent generations, driven largely by modern social comparison and hyper-competitive environments.
This problem is very relevant to the present generation, especially Gen Z, who are ensnared by the vague concept of having it all.
Of course, at some point people can achieve everything at once, but that requires reaching a specific point after doing much grinding and hard work with dedication.
Dr. Piers Steel (2007) in his landmark meta-analysis on procrastination (Psychological Bulletin), demonstrated that procrastination is not a time-management issue, but an emotion regulation failure where perfectionistic anxiety directly predicts task aversion. This points to the fact that achieving material things will not help if we do not have a regulated nervous system.
Now, is there any way to get rid of this? Yes- but only the individual who accepts the flaws, failed attempts, and mess-ups that come in the way of accomplishing a perfect project.
When the perfection mood kicks in, try to set small goals and try to build a ‘satisficing’ result.
Herbert Simon coined this term, and it can literally mean ‘good enough.’ So, instead of seeking perfection and validation, try to do work in a satisficing way.
Shift the mindset from all-or-nothing to a ‘better than zero’ mindset.
This means, even if you wasted half of your plan, or it did not work out due to unavoidable reasons, try to accomplish the other half, or at least a portion of that work- whether it’s your job, your studies, or anything.
Again, a very crucial step towards accepting flaws is separating emotions from work.
Even if you do not feel jolly or are not in the best mood to do anything, try to do it anyway, as effort creates the momentum to continue working. Just do not wait for the perfect time, because it would not come.
Instead, accept every opportunity that aligns with your goal and make small efforts. Eventually, you will be able to get rid of the vicious cycle of procrastination.
Perfectionism often disguises itself as a high standard for excellence, but in reality, it is fear dressed up in a suit.
Real progress is never clean, linear, or photogenic; it is messy, inconsistent, and full of coarse drafts.
When you permit yourself to do things poorly, you ironically unlock the ability to do them at all. Honor the messy attempt; it will always take you further than the perfect plan that never happened.
