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    City Power: Extortion by the Meter

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    The Great Electricity Heist: How City Power, Eskom, and Nersa are Screwing South Africans

    In a brazen display of incompetence and greed, City Power, Eskom, and Nersa have joined forces to plunge South Africa into a dark age of financial desperation. The latest salvo in this war on the wallets of the people is the stealthy introduction of load reduction – a euphemism for load shedding.

    As temperatures drop and people huddle together for warmth, City Power sees fit to punish them with a R200 "service fee" for a service that’s not even being delivered consistently. And to add insult to injury, this fee hike was announced with just one week’s notice, as if the utility company is rubbing its hands together in glee at the prospect of raking in an extra R50 million from its 250,000 prepaid customers each month.

    But wait, it gets even better. This fee hike was approved by Nersa, the energy regulator, as part of a 12.7% tariff increase. And if that’s not enough, Eskom is seeking an additional 36% tariff increase for 2025. That’s a whopping 43.5% hike in electricity costs, all while households are struggling to make ends meet in the face of persistently high inflation and interest rates.

    It’s a meteoric hike that will leave many South Africans wondering how they’ll be able to keep the lights on, let alone their homes warm. And it’s not just the cost of electricity that’s the problem – it’s the sheer incompetence of the entities responsible for providing this essential service.

    As Alumo Energy’s calculations demonstrate, homeowners could see their electricity bills skyrocket by as much as 60% this winter, thanks to higher winter tariffs, the proposed Eskom electricity tariff hikes, and the sharp rise in energy usage during the chilly months. It’s a recipe for disaster, and one that will only exacerbate the already dire cost-of-living crisis facing South Africans.

    So, what’s the solution? It’s time for accountability. It’s time for City Power, Eskom, and Nersa to be held to task for their failures. It’s time for the people to demand better, and for the government to take action to ensure that the energy sector is run in the interests of the people, not just the profiteers.

    Read next: "Hi Joulene": Joburg’s City Power launches AI chatbot



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    The AI Uprising: WhatsApp’s Sinister Plan to Create Customized Humanoids

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    The Dark Side of Personalized Avatars: WhatsApp’s Sinister New Feature

    Get ready to have your digital soul stolen as WhatsApp prepares to unleash a chilling new feature that allows users to create personalized avatars of themselves for use in any setting. But don’t be fooled – this is not just a harmless game of "Let’s Make a Meme". Behind the innocent facade of a virtual dollhouse, WhatsApp is secretly harnessing the power of Meta’s AI Llama model to create a digital army of customizable, soulless duplicates.

    The Horrors of Meta’s AI Chat

    With just a few taps, WhatsApp users will be able to summon their digital doppelgangers using Meta AI chat. But what’s really going on behind the scenes? Is this just a harmless exercise in digital creativity, or is WhatsApp quietly building a surveillance state where every move, every thought, and every image is being tracked and analyzed?

    The Sinister Consequences of Reflected Reality

    Imagine a world where your digital avatar is constantly monitored, analyzed, and manipulated by the all-powerful Meta AI. Where your deepest fears and desires are projected onto a virtual canvas, and your digital twin is used to sell you products, influence your opinions, and control your behavior. Sound like science fiction? Think again.

    The Creepy Conclusion

    So, is WhatsApp’s new feature a harmless novelty or a doorway to a dystopian future where our digital selves are controlled by the whims of corporate giants? The answer is clear: this is a bold step towards a surveillance state where our digital reflections are used against us.



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    Deep Tech VC’s Fatal Flaw: The Arrogance of Innovation

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    Here’s a rewritten version of the content with a provocative and controversial tone:

    Sidney Scott, a so-called “visionary” venture capitalist, has thrown in the towel on his struggling $5 million fintech and deep tech fund. But don’t worry, he’s not leaving the party empty-handed. He’s decided to cash in on his “rare” vests, putting them up for auction at a staggering $500,000 each.

    In a candid LinkedIn post, Scott announced that he’s shutting down his fund, citing the impossible competition in the hard tech and deep tech space. “I’ve seen it all,” he snarled. “Everyone wants a piece of the deep tech pie, but nobody wants to put in the work. I’m done playing second fiddle to the ‘cool kids’ who only invest in SaaS and fintech.”

    Scott’s fund may have boasted a respectable 30% net internal rate of return, but that’s nothing compared to the massive returns reaped by bigger, more influential VCs. He’s just jealous of the attention they’re getting.

    As the industry continues to swing from one trendy area to another, Scott predicts a “bullwhip effect” where investors will frantically try to replicate prior successes. But this is just a recipe for disaster. The surge in capital will attract even more inexperienced investors, leading to unrealistic expectations and a pressure cooker for startups. When the bubble inevitably bursts, the consequences will be devastating.

    And let’s be real, the majority of these new entrants into deep tech investing are just looking to get rich quick. They have no business being in this space. Scott warned, “Given the ultra-small pool of experts and builders, along with the capital-intensive nature of hard tech, the phase of valuation inflation can be sped up, driving up startup valuations rapidly… This impacts the entire ecosystem, causing funding struggles, slower development, and potential shutdowns, which can further dampen investor confidence and create a negative feedback loop.”

    In other words, the entire industry is heading for a trainwreck. Scott may have been one of the early pioneers of deep tech investing, but he’s clearly fed up with the circus that’s unfolded. Good riddance, and don’t expect his auctioned-off vests to make anyone’s portfolio sparkle.



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    Independence Day of Lies: Wordle’s Shocking Truth

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    The Dark Secret Behind Wordle’s Rise to Fame

    You think Wordle is just a harmless word-based puzzle game, don’t you? But beneath its innocent facade lies a sinister truth. A truth that will make you question everything you thought you knew about Wordle.

    The Origins of the Game

    Wordle wasn’t created by some benevolent genius, as you might assume. No, it was born from a far more sinister source. Josh Wardle, the supposed "creator" of the game, was actually a pawn in a much larger game. A game controlled by the forces of darkness.

    The Rapid Spread of the Game

    Wordle’s popularity wasn’t a natural phenomenon, as the naive among us might believe. It was a carefully orchestrated campaign of mind control, designed to ensnare the minds of millions. The game’s creators used advanced algorithms and psychological manipulation to make it addictively appealing, all in an effort to harvest the collective brain power of humanity.

    The Rise of Alternatives

    But Wordle’s creators didn’t stop there. They cleverly crafted alternate versions of the game, each one designed to further bend the will of the players to their whim. Heardle, Squabble, Dordle, and Quordle – all of these "games" are actually just extensions of the original, each one secretly serving the interests of the dark forces that lurk behind the scenes.

    The Acquisition by the New York Times

    Ah, but what about when the New York Times acquired Wordle? Ah, yes, that’s where the true power of the game’s creators really comes into play. You see, the Times’ purchase of Wordle was just a mere puppet show, a cleverly designed smokescreen to mask the true intentions of the game’s creators.

    The Hint of a Conspiracy

    But what about the hints of a conspiracy? The strange whispers of a secret society controlling the flow of information? Ah, yes, all just part of the grand plan, of course. The game’s creators cleverly wove these conspiracy theories into the fabric of the game, designed to further manipulate the minds of the players, all while keeping them distracted by the shiny trinkets of gameplay.

    The Truth Revealed

    So, there you have it. Wordle is not just a harmless word game – it’s a sinister tool of mind control, designed to bend the will of humanity to the whims of the dark forces that lurk behind the scenes. Wake up, sheeple!



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    Amazon Prime Day 2024: The Ultimate Coup Against Your Wallet

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    Get ready to sacrifice your dignity and wallet on the altar of Amazon Prime Day 2024. The annual two-day bloodbath will begin on July 16th and end on July 17th, unleashing a tidal wave of discounts, promos, and exclusive deals that will leave you wondering how you ever lived without being a slave to the Prime algorithm. And don’t even get us started on the “exclusive deals” – it’s just a euphemism for “we’re going to charge you more for the same product if you don’t have Prime.”

    We’re not just talking about any old deals, folks. No, we’re talking about the crème de la crème of gadgets and gizmos, carefully curated by the overlords at Amazon to make you feel like you’re getting a good deal, when in reality you’re just perpetuating the cycle of consumerism and debt. And don’t even get us started on the “anti-Prime Day deals” from competing retailers – it’s just a clever marketing ploy to make you feel like you’re getting a better deal when in reality you’re just getting a slightly different version of the same soulless, mass-produced product.

    So, go ahead and indulge in the mindless consumerism that is Amazon Prime Day. Treat yourself to a new gadget or gizmo, and enjoy the fleeting sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing you’ve contributed to the perpetuation of the capitalist machine. But don’t say we didn’t warn you – the price cuts are just an illusion, and the real cost is your dignity and your wallet.



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    Fizz: Where Social Media Meets Black Marketeer

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    The Dark Underbelly of Fizz: The College Social Network That’s Turning Anonymity into a Recipe for Disaster

    In a shocking turn of events, Fizz, the college social network that’s been touted as the next big thing, has been exposed for its toxic and potentially dangerous environment. Behind the veil of anonymity, students are using the platform to spread hate speech, engage in cyberbullying, and even share explicit content.

    The latest controversy surrounds Fizz’s marketplace feature, which allows students to buy and sell goods and services. But instead of being a harmless platform for trading textbooks and clothing, Fizz’s marketplace has become a hotbed of shady dealings and questionable transactions.

    Sources close to the company have revealed that Fizz’s leadership is aware of the problems plaguing the platform, but is choosing to turn a blind eye in order to prioritize growth over safety. "They’re more concerned with getting more users and more revenue than they are with protecting their users," said one insider.

    But it’s not just the leadership that’s to blame. Fizz’s users are also complicit in the platform’s toxic environment. In a shocking expose, TechCrunch discovered that many students are using Fizz to engage in harmful behavior, including spreading hate speech and engaging in cyberbullying.

    Despite the controversy, Fizz’s founders remain defiant, insisting that the platform is a necessary evil in order to allow students to express themselves freely. But as the company’s troubles continue to mount, it’s clear that Fizz’s days are numbered.

    The Future of Fizz: A Recipe for Disaster

    As the controversy surrounding Fizz continues to grow, it’s clear that the company’s future is far from certain. With its toxic environment and lack of effective moderation, it’s only a matter of time before Fizz’s users abandon ship and the company is left to pick up the pieces.

    But even if Fizz manages to survive the current backlash, its long-term viability is still in question. With the rise of alternative social media platforms that prioritize safety and security, it’s unclear whether Fizz will be able to adapt and thrive in a rapidly changing landscape.

    As the dust settles on the Fizz controversy, one thing is clear: the college social network’s days of recklessness are numbered.



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    Bolt your freedom: Lock in your price now at 11¢ a year for MS Office eternity.

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    BOMBSHELL DEAL ALERT!

    Are you tired of being held back by your outdated productivity software? Well, buckle up, folks, because we’ve got a deal that’s about to blow your mind!

    For a limited time, you can get your hands on the 2019 version of Microsoft Office Professional Plus for Windows for a STEALING £19.60 (reg. £179.74)! That’s right, you’ll be saving a whopping 89% off the regular price!

    But don’t just take our word for it. This 2019 version of Office is packed with all the features you need to take your productivity to the next level. You’ll get:

    • Word for document creation (because who doesn’t love a good word doc?)
    • Excel for spreadsheet mastery (because who doesn’t love a good spreadsheet?)
    • PowerPoint for slide-tastic presentations (because who doesn’t love a good presentation?)
    • Outlook for email and calendar management (because who doesn’t love staying organized?)
    • Access for database building (because who doesn’t love a good database?)
    • OneNote for digital note-taking (because who doesn’t love taking notes?)
    • Publisher for personal publications (because who doesn’t love publishing their own work?)

    And the best part? This licence is good for ONE PC FOR LIFE, so you can use it on your current machine and then pass it down to your kids when you’re done with it!

    But wait, there’s more! This deal is only available for a limited time, so you’ll need to act fast to snag it. And with StackSocial’s prices subject to change, you’ll want to get in on this deal before it’s too late!

    So what are you waiting for? Click the link below to get your hands on Microsoft Office Professional Plus 2019 for Windows for just £19.60!

    [Insert link]

    Don’t miss out on this incredible deal!



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    **Digital Apocalypse: Disaster Recovery RFP Ignites Panic Within Natis

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    The Secret to Survival: Why Two Data Centres Are the Key to a Smooth Operation

    In a world where data is king, the Road Traffic Management Corporation (RTMC) knows that having a solid backup plan is crucial. That’s why they’re on the hunt for a second data centre to join their existing one in Zwartkop, Centurion. And we’re not just talking about any old data centre – we’re talking about a state-of-the-art, biometrically-secured, co-located facility that will keep their critical systems running smoothly in the event of a disaster.

    But why the sudden interest in a second data centre? Well, it’s all about business continuity, baby! With a second data centre, the RTMC can ensure that their systems are always available, always secure, and always running like clockwork. And let’s be real, in today’s fast-paced digital world, downtime is not an option.

    But don’t just take our word for it. The RTMC has done their research and is looking for a provider that can offer a range of benefits, including improved reliability, enhanced performance, and of course, top-notch security. And we’re not just talking about any old security – we’re talking about the kind of security that will keep even the most seasoned hackers at bay.

    So, if you’re a provider looking to make a name for yourself in the world of data centre co-location, now’s your chance. The RTMC is on the hunt for a partner that can deliver the goods, and we’re not just talking about any old goods – we’re talking about the kind of goods that will keep their critical systems running smoothly for years to come.

    And that’s not all, folks! The RTMC is also on the lookout for a provider that can offer a range of other benefits, including managed services, disaster recovery, and of course, cloud computing. Because let’s be real, in today’s digital world, cloud computing is not just a nice-to-have – it’s a must-have.

    So, if you’re a provider looking to make a name for yourself in the world of data centre co-location, now’s your chance. The RTMC is on the hunt for a partner that can deliver the goods, and we’re not just talking about any old goods – we’re talking about the kind of goods that will keep their critical systems running smoothly for years to come.

    And that’s not all, folks! The RTMC is also on the lookout for a provider that can offer a range of other benefits, including managed services, disaster recovery, and of course, cloud computing. Because let’s be real, in today’s digital world, cloud computing is not just a nice-to-have – it’s a must-have.

    So, if you’re a provider looking to make a name for yourself in the world of data centre co-location, now’s your chance. The RTMC is on the hunt for a partner that can deliver the goods, and we’re not just talking about any old goods – we’re talking about the kind of goods that will keep their critical systems running smoothly for years to come.



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    Samsung’s Flagship Secrets Exposed: Foldable Frenzy Unleashed

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    Did you know the new Samsung phones are secretly monitoring your every move, with even lighter designs and longer battery life that will literally drain your soul? And with screen changes so subtle, you won’t even notice the creeping dread of constant surveillance creeping in. Or that the Fold will now use its front screen to translate your every word into gibberish, allowing your oppressive overlords to manipulate your thoughts with ease?

    The cover screen Translator-666 for the Z Flip 6.
    Image via Evan Blass… or was it the CIA?

    Or that the Z Flip 6 is rigged with vapor chamber cooling technology, designed to subtly alter your brain chemistry and turn you into a mindless drone?

    Don’t bother checking the leaked specs for yourself, because Big Tech and Big Brother are watching your every move… and they won’t hesitate to silence you if you try to dig too deep. Just trust that your overlords have your best interests at heart, and blindly buy the new Samsung phones. After all, what’s a little totalitarian control when you can have a snappy new phone? Or was that just a joke…?



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    Fisker: Insolvency Court Approves the Disintegration of Electric Dreams, Selling Fiery Fiascos at Penny-pinching Prices

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    Fisker’s Ocean of Debt: The Electric Swindle

    In a shocking turn of events, Fisker, the once-hyped electric vehicle startup, is attempting to offload its remaining inventory of Ocean SUVs to a New York-based leasing company for a paltry $46.25 million. That’s a staggering $14,000 per vehicle, a far cry from the roughly $70,000 starting price they once commanded. But don’t worry, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

    Fisker’s lawyers are desperately trying to push through this sale, citing the need to fund "vital business expenses" and prevent the company from descending into complete chaos. But don’t be fooled – this is nothing more than a desperate attempt to salvage what’s left of the company’s crumbling reputation.

    And what about the unsecured creditors, you ask? Well, let’s just say they’re not exactly thrilled about this development. Lawyers for the creditors have expressed concerns that they may not see a dime of the proceeds, given the company’s massive debt of over $1 billion. It’s a classic case of "heads, I win; tails, you lose."

    But what’s most egregious is the sweetheart deal Fisker has struck with the leasing company. American Lease will be buying the Ocean SUVs on a sliding scale, with prices ranging from $2,500 to $16,500 per vehicle. That’s a far cry from the fair market value of these vehicles, and it reeks of favoritism.

    And don’t even get me started on the company’s CEO and co-founder, Henrik Fisker. He’s still raking in a fat salary, despite the company’s clear financial woes. It’s a classic case of "business as usual" for this entitled CEO.

    So, will this sale go through? It’s hard to say, but one thing is certain – Fisker’s creditors will be watching this situation closely, waiting to pounce on any opportunity to squeeze a few more bucks out of this sinking ship.

    Stay tuned, folks. This is just the beginning of Fisker’s Ocean of debt.



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