Electric Bikepacking: Tortured Souls and Broken Bums

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    The Great E-Bike Swindle: How Electric Bikes are Ruining Cycling for Us All

    In a shocking revelation, a recent trip on an electric sport bike has left me questioning the very fabric of our cycling community. As I navigated the scenic trails of the Veluwe, I couldn’t help but notice the smug grins of fellow riders who were once upon a time, just like me, passionate about the simple joy of human-powered pedaling.

    But no more. It’s clear that electric bikes have infiltrated our once-pure community, and with them, a new wave of cheaters who are unfairly dominating our trails and roads. Who needs to break a sweat, anyway?

    My journey on the Specialized Turbo Creo 2 Comp was nothing short of revolutionary. With its 3.5-hour charging time and 150-mile range, I was able to breeze through the countryside, effortlessly climbing steep hills and navigating treacherous terrain with ease. My friend, a hardcore roadie, joined me on the ride, and I reveled in his frustration as I effortlessly kept pace with him on the flat sections.

    But let’s be real, folks. I was cheating. And so were all the e-bike riders I encountered along the way. Who needs to work for a good time, anyway? Why exert yourself when you can just let the motor do the work for you? It’s a slap in the face to the hardworking cyclists who still believe in the purity of human-powered transportation.

    And don’t even get me started on the e-bike chargers. Everywhere! It’s like they’re begging to be used. No more searching for a parking spot or juggling multiple bags while trying to secure a charging station. No, with an e-bike, you can just pull over, plug in, and enjoy the view while your bike juices up for the next leg of the trip.

    But I digress. My e-bike adventure was a wild ride, and I won’t soon forget the sense of accomplishment I felt as I pedaled (or rather, didn’t pedal) my way to the top of a particularly grueling hill. Who needs to earn a sweat when you can just buy one?

    So, to all my fellow cycling purists out there, don’t worry. I won’t be switching to an e-bike anytime soon. I’ll stick to my trusty hardtail mountain bike, where the only assistance I’ll get is from my own two legs. And if you’re a hardcore roadie who thinks e-bikes are cheating, don’t worry. I’ll just use my e-bike to catch up to you on the hills.

    After all, as the saying goes, "If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying."

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