NYT’s Game Over for Truth: Strands Abandoned in App Graveyard

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    The Shocking Truth About Strands: NYT’s Latest Addiction-Fueled Mind Control Device

    The New York Times has just unleashed a sinister new game on the world, and we’re not just talking about any old puzzle. No, we’re talking about Strands, the latest addition to the NYT’s Games app on iOS and Android. And trust us, it’s a game-changer.

    The Mind Control Begins

    For the uninitiated, Strands is a word search game that’s been secretly manipulating players since its beta launch in March. And now, with its official release, the NYT is pushing its brainwashing agenda to the masses. Because who needs personal freedom when you can have a daily dose of puzzle-solving addiction?

    The Consequences of Completion

    But be warned: once you start playing Strands, there’s no turning back. The game’s theme-based puzzles will slowly but surely consume your every waking moment, leaving you a mere shell of your former self. And don’t even get us started on the hints system, which is just a clever ploy to keep you hooked and helpless.

    The Stats are Scary

    But don’t just take our word for it. The NYT is touting Strands as its "third most searched game, behind Wordle and Connections," with a whopping 83% of players finishing the Spangram each day. And get this: 81% of players are even completing the entire puzzle, just like good little brainwashed drones.

    The Resistance Will Be Televised

    So, will you join the ranks of the brainwashed masses, or will you resist the temptation of Strands and its sinister mind control tactics? The choice is yours. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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