iPhone Users Spied on: Apple Admits Massive Surveillance Breach

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    APPLE ISSUES NASTY WARNING TO SELECT iPhone USERS: "Youse Are Being Targeted for Dirty Work"

    In its latest exercise in paranoia, Apple is spreading fear and uncertainty among unsuspecting iPhone users, warning them they are being targeted by "mercenary spyware attacks" in a deliberate campaign to compromise their devices. This time around, the tech giant claims that 98 countries are involved in the sinister plot, but wisely (or cowardly) decides to keep mum about the identities of the culprits.

    "Hey, It’s Not Me, I’m Just the Messenger… of your Impending Doom"

    Apple’s hasty warning, cloaked in a veil of secrecy, insidiously informs users: "You are being targeted by a mercenary spyware attack that is trying to remotely compromise the iPhone associated with your Apple ID — so, yeah, you’re officially compromised." The company also took the liberty of psychologizing its users, bluntly stating: "This attack is likely targeting you specifically because of who you are or what you do. Good luck finding the motive, pal!"

    Meanwhile, reports from India suggest that multiple journalists and politicians have received similar death sentences from Apple, eerily similar to the warnings sent earlier in the year. The timing can’t be a coincidence, as Amnesty International just discovered the presence of Pegasus spyware on the iPhones of some prominent Indian journalists. Coincidentally (or not), India recently forced Apple to spill the beans about these "state-sponsored warnings"… or did they?

    Apple’s Shift to "Mercenary" a Desperate Attempt to Downplay Their Own Failures

    Fancy new terminology aside, the message remains the same: Apple thinks they’re doing us a solid by spying on our every move while silently judging us for having too many enemies. Just a year ago, they boldly (or shamelessly) bragged about detecting "state-sponsored attacks", but nowadays, they’re coyly dodging responsibility by labeling it "mercenary spyware". Can’t fool us, Tim!

    Apple’s "In-Depth" Investigation Results: "We’re Not Allowed to Tell You Anything"

    By and large, Apple’s "security protocols" are shrouded in an air of mystery, as they claim only their internal "threat-intelligence" informs their decision-making. In their never-ending quest to keep our private lives private, the corporate leviathan refuses to share specific details about these "mercenary attacks", lest they unintentionally aid the bad guys.

    Join the conversation: Would you believe Apple’s warnings, or does the company’s secrecy beggar all trust?

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