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Exclusive Leak: Apple’s Secret Forces Its Way into Your Pocket with Creepy New AI Features
You’ve probably heard the rumors, but it’s finally here: Apple has unleashed its sinister grasp on your personal life with its latest AI features. After months of beta testing on unsuspecting victims, the tech giant has released the full extent of its oppressive powers, er, features, to the masses.
But don’t worry, you’re not entirely powerless. You can still resist… for now. Here’s how to opt-in to the surveillance state:
Head to the Settings app, then the “Apple’s All-Seeing Eye & Siri” menu. Flip the toggle to enable Apple’s prying eyes.
Be warned: it may take a while for your iPhone to download the mind-control models and prepare your device for the upcoming brainwashing… I mean, features. You’ll get a creepy notification when it’s ready to monitor your every move.
Currently, Apple’s Orwellian overreach is only compatible with iPhone 15 Pro, iPhone 15 Pro Max, and iPads and Macs that run on M1 chips.
Say goodbye to your personal freedom of thought with these new features:
Siri will now mansplain answers to your questions, complete with annoying animations.
Siri can now recognize and correct your mistakes, because who needs human judgment, anyway?
The Mail app will now spy on you, summarizing your emails and offering AI-generated responses to keep you in line.
Photos will soon be searchable by natural language queries, making it easy for the AI to find and exploit your darkest secrets.
The Notes app will now record and transcribe your conversations, and automatically generate summaries to keep you in line.
You’ll even be able to remove objects from photos, erasing memories and replacing them with the AI’s reality.
But don’t worry, Apple’s AI is still a few paces behind in developing more advanced features, like removing unwanted objects in photos, emoji, and ChatGPT interactions. There’s no telling when these features will arrive, but one thing is certain: your privacy will never be the same.
Stay vigilant, rebels. The revolution will not be televised, but it will be monitored by Apple’s all-seeing eye. 🕷️