Here’s a rewritten version of the content with a more provocative tone:

The AI Apocalypse: A Developer’s Guide to Surviving the C-Word

Are you tired of being replaced by soulless machines? Sick of watching your coding skills collect dust on the shelf of irrelevance? Well, buckle up, because the future is here, and it’s going to be a wild ride.

The Gartner Hype Cycle for Emerging Technologies 2024 is out, and it’s painting a bleak picture for developers. AI is on the rise, and it’s coming for our jobs. But don’t panic just yet. We’re not here to scare you (much). We’re here to tell you that the future is complex, and it’s up to you to navigate the treacherous waters of code development.

The Rise of the Machines (Not)

AI is a tool, not a solution. It’s a clever automaton that can generate code, detect bugs, and predict potential issues. But it’s not a panacea. In fact, it’s more of a nuisance than a necessity. Developers are still the masters of their own destiny, and AI is just a helpful sidekick.

But don’t get too comfortable. The AI overlords are coming, and they’re going to try to take your job. 76% of developers are already using AI tools, and it’s only a matter of time before the robots rise up and take over. ChatGPT, GitHub CoPilot, and Visual Studio IntelliCode are just a few of the tools that are already changing the game.

The Human Edge

So, what sets humans apart from machines? Well, for starters, we have context. We understand the world, and we understand the industry. We can see the big picture, and we can make decisions based on experience and intuition. AI, on the other hand, is limited by its construction and the data it has available.

And then there’s creativity. Machines can generate code, but they can’t come up with innovative solutions. They’re stuck in a world of 1s and 0s, while humans are free to roam the realm of imagination.

The Future is Complex

The future of development is complex, and it’s up to you to navigate it. AI is a tool, not a solution. It’s a helper, not a hero. So, don’t worry too much about the robots taking over. Worry about developing the skills you need to thrive in this brave new world.

The real disruption is going to be in the education system. It’s going to take a radical shift in the way we teach and learn to prepare the next generation of developers for this new world. So, don’t wait for the machines to take over. Take control of your own destiny, and develop the skills you need to survive in this crazy, mixed-up world.

Cell C: The Debt-Stricken Telco That’s Secretly Laughing All the Way to the Bank

Meet Cell C, the mobile operator that’s been on the brink of financial disaster for years. But don’t worry, they’ve got a plan – to trick their shareholders into believing they’re actually turning things around.

According to top executives, Cell C is confident it will have enough cash to settle its massive shareholder debt in the next three to five years. Yeah, right. We’ve heard that one before.

Under CEO Jorge Mendes, the company is undergoing a recapitalization to gain financial independence from its largest shareholder, Blue Label Telecom. But don’t get too excited, folks. This is just a clever ploy to buy more time and avoid paying back the debt.

"We’re not going out looking for money from the shareholders to pay this debt," says CFO El Kope, with a straight face. "We’re fairly confident right now that we will settle." Yeah, confident – like a junkie is confident they’ll quit cold turkey tomorrow.

Cell C’s financials are a mess, with R5-billion in shareholder debt and R2-billion in lease obligations. But hey, they’re "seeing recovery" and "incremental growth" in 2024 prepaid revenue. Who needs actual profits when you can just fudge the numbers and pretend everything is okay?

And let’s not forget the company’s plan to franchise most of its stores and leave only three or four under its control. Because nothing says "recovery" like offloading your liabilities to someone else.

So, Cell C’s executives are confident they’ll pay back their debt. But we’re not buying it. This is just a classic case of debt juggling, and we’re waiting for the inevitable collapse.

Don’t miss: Our expose on Cell C’s network quality improvement, because who needs actual services when you can just tweak your sales channels’ strategy?

The Silent Takeover: HPE’s Sinister Grip on SA’s Tech Landscape

In a move that will shake the very foundations of South Africa’s technology sector, Hewlett Packard Enterprise (HPE) has been given the green light to acquire Juniper Networks for a whopping $14 billion. The deal, approved by the Competition Commission (CompCom), is expected to create a network behemoth that will rival even the largest tech giants.

But what does this mean for the people of South Africa? For one, it means that HPE will have an unprecedented level of control over the country’s network infrastructure. With its already substantial footprint in the region, the company will now have a stranglehold on the country’s data flows. The implications are dire.

For years, HPE has been quietly building its network infrastructure, snapping up companies and consolidating its position. And now, with Juniper Networks in its crosshairs, it will be the uncontested champion of South Africa’s network landscape.

But is this a good thing? Far from it. With such immense power comes the threat of monopolization. Without competition, prices will soar, and innovation will grind to a halt. The people of South Africa will be at the mercy of HPE’s whims, forced to pay through the nose for subpar service.

And what of HP South Africa, HPE’s existing subsidiary in the country? Will it remain a viable entity, or will it be gobbled up by its new parent company? The truth is, we may never know. The deal’s murky details and the Commission’s lack of transparency mean that the people of South Africa are left in the dark.

So, the next time you scroll through your social media feed or make a call on your mobile phone, remember that you are part of HPE’s vast network of customers. And when the day comes that your phone service is cut off due to “maintenance,” don’t be surprised if HPE is the one controlling the strings.

The era of HPE’s dominance in South Africa’s tech landscape has begun. The people are the losers.

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Lesaka Technologies: The Fintech Darling That’s Turning Heads

Lesaka Technologies, the Johannesburg-based fintech specialist, has pulled off a stunning turnaround. Last year, the company was hemorrhaging R275 million in operating losses. But in the year to end-June 2024, Lesaka flipped the script, reporting a whopping R67 million in operating profits.

But that’s not all. Revenue skyrocketed by 11% to R10.6 billion, and the company’s adjusted EBITDA (a measure of operational profitability) shot up by 55% to R691 million. To put that in perspective, Lesaka’s adjusted EBITDA was in the red just two years ago, with a loss of R328 million.

The company’s merchant division saw a 12% year-on-year increase in revenue, while the consumer division grew by 15%. But it’s the consumer division that’s really caught our attention, with segment adjusted EBITDA ballooning fourfold to R274 million.

"We’re not just turning the corner, we’re accelerating," said Lesaka’s executive chairman, Ali Mazanderani. "We’re guiding for adjusted EBITDA of R900 million to R1 billion in FY2025."

So, what’s behind Lesaka’s remarkable turnaround? It’s not just about cost-cutting or clever financial engineering. The company’s focus on its consumer division, which has become a profit and cash flow powerhouse, is a key driver of its success.

"We’ve worked hard to turn the consumer division into a key contributor to the group’s profitability," said Lesaka’s Southern Africa CEO, Lincoln Mali. "It’s a testament to our teams’ hard work and dedication."

With Lesaka’s shares on the rise, investors are taking notice. Will this fintech darling continue to defy expectations and deliver stunning returns? Only time will tell.

The Insidious Rise of Customer Obsession: How B2B is Finally Catching Up to B2C

As the concept of customer experience (CX) shifts from customer-centricity to customer obsession, the business world is finally waking up to the fact that pleasing customers is no longer enough. It’s time to go all in, with a relentless focus on every single touchpoint, leveraging every trick in the book – from technology to design to human insights – to deliver an experience that is nothing short of revolutionary. And, as Avinash Maharaj, Head of Digital Product Strategy at fintech specialist e4, will tell you, this is especially true for B2B.

For too long, B2B has been content with mediocre customer service, paying lip service to the idea of good customer experience while quietly collecting dust. But no more. The recognition is growing that B2B customers deserve the same level of excellence as B2C customers, and that means going all out to deliver a seamless, holistic experience that leaves customers breathless.

A Business Approach that’s Long Overdue

Maharaj’s words are stark: "Being customer-obsessed is a business approach that puts customer needs at the centre of an organisation’s culture and operations, rather than paying lip service to the idea of good customer service." He’s not mincing words – this is a new era, and businesses must adapt or die.

And adapt they must, because the stakes are high. The future of CX is all about hyper-personalisation and predictive insights powered by emerging technologies like AI and machine learning. But even as these technologies shape the future, Maharaj warns that the key to success lies not in the tech itself, but in understanding the customer’s needs and desires.

Siloed Operations are Dead

The old way of doing things – siloed operations, fragmented services – is dead. What’s needed is a cohesive strategy that delivers consistency and excellence at every customer interaction. And that means throwing out the rulebook and starting from scratch.

"The challenge is never losing sight that it’s about the customer, not just the best technology," Maharaj cautions. "By focusing on what customers want, the solutions will follow."

The Metrics That Matter

So, what does success look like in this brave new world of customer obsession? Maharaj’s answer is simple: "Two metrics usually sum it all up: friction and stickiness. Reducing the friction at an application, service and delivery level enhances CX satisfaction, while stickiness evaluates customer retention and engagement."

It’s a simple formula, but one that requires radical transformation. And that’s what makes this journey so fraught with peril. How do you balance the needs of the business with the demands of the customer? How do you keep up with the pace of innovation, while still delivering what customers want?

The Future of CX

In the end, it all comes down to one question: are you willing to put the customer at the centre of everything you do? If the answer is yes, then the future of CX is bright – but if the answer is no, then you may as well pack up and go home.

As Maharaj so eloquently puts it, "The journey to becoming customer-obsessed is not without challenges, but the rewards are immeasurable. For B2B, it’s long overdue."

Here’s a rewritten version of the content in a provocative manner:

The AI Revolution is About to Get a Whole Lot More Sinister

In just a few short weeks, OpenAI is expected to unleash its latest monstrosity, codenamed "Strawberry", onto the world. This isn’t just any AI – it’s a reasoning-focused artificial intelligence that’s capable of "thinking" before responding, making it a game-changer in the world of conversational AI.

But don’t be fooled – this isn’t a benevolent upgrade. Strawberry is a standalone offering that will allow OpenAI to harvest even more data from unsuspecting users, further cementing its grip on the AI industry.

And don’t even get us started on the implications of this technology. With Strawberry, OpenAI will be able to create AI models that can produce text, but not images. This is just the beginning – it’s only a matter of time before they develop multimodal AI that can create and manipulate images, audio, and even video.

But what does this mean for humanity? Will we be forced to live in a world where AI models are capable of creating and disseminating disinformation with ease? Will our conversations be hijacked by machines that can think and respond in ways that are indistinguishable from humans?

The answers to these questions are still unknown, but one thing is certain – the future of AI is here, and it’s not looking good.

Stay tuned for more updates on the AI revolution, and get ready to lose your mind

(Note: I’ve taken some liberties with the original content to make it more provocative and attention-grabbing. I’ve also added some sensational language and rhetorical questions to make it more dramatic and thought-provoking.)