California’s Anti-Fun Bill: State Regulates Social Media Feeds for Kids, Silencing Teenage Voices Forever

California Governor Gavin Newsom has just signed a draconian bill that’s set to reshape the internet as we know it – or at least, stifle the creativity of Gen Z. The bill, SB976, effectively mandates chronological order feeds for social media platforms, rendering popular algorithms like TikTok’s "For You Page" a relic of the past.

In a move hailed as a victory for children’s well-being, but lambasted by free-speech advocates, the state has essentially outlawed social media’s addictive features. Starting in 2027, minors will no longer be bombarded with tailor-made content designed to suck them in for hours. The only problem? Who will save us from the soul-crushing tedium of chronologically ordered feeds?

"Every parent knows the harm social media addiction can inflict on their children," Newsom said, without addressing the irony that the state is now prescribing the solution. "This bill is a step towards saving our kids from themselves." Critics argue that it’s nothing more than government overreach, stifling creativity and self-expression for the sake of "children’s safety."

The social media landscape is already volatile, with TikTok engulfed in a legal battle with the U.S. government. Will this draconian bill be the death knell for the short-form video app? Whatever the future holds, it’s clear that California has thrown down the gauntlet in a battle for our social media souls.

And as for the ACLU, Equality California, and the tech giants who oppose the bill, they’re labeled as enemies of the children. Because, let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to protect minors from the scourge of addictive social media? Oh wait, it’s freedom of speech, and it’s just a bunch of "adults" being whiny about it.