Are you kidding me? You expect me to waste my time on loooong videos on Instagram when the real magic happens with quick, bite-sized videos?! I’m here to tell you – it’s a hard no from this platform.

Now, you might be thinking, what even is the point of Instagram? Well, duh, it’s to connect with friends and get your fix of cute dog videos, of course! (But let’s be real, longform videos would just be a boring cousin trying to crash the party.) The true essence of Instagram is about discovering stuff you love, sharing it with pals, and getting lost in endless loops of cat videos. And to me, that’s what truly makes it great.

Newsflash: longform video will kill the Instagram vibe! (Not that it’s not perfect just the way it is, right?) Think about it – have you ever tried to send a 15-minute video to a friend? No one wants to watch that! Nobody! It’s like trying to read War and Peace in one go (no thanks, mom!). And what’s worse, it’ll ruin the “algorithmic serendipity” (aka the magic of discoverability) that makes Instagram so great!

Now, I know some crybabies might say we’re missing out on some “essential storytelling” or whatever, but what we’re really missing is our sanity! Who’s got time for 20 minutes of scripted nonsense when you can enjoy 10 seconds of pure adorableness? (It’s called “brevity”, people!) And don’t get me started on the poor souls forced to create these monstrosities. Can you imagine having to put up with an editor rambling on for hours? No way, no how! Give me fast-paced, snappy content any day. #TeamShortFormRevolution

So if you’re still with me and hate longform video as much as I do, let’s get it on! Share your deepest thoughts in the comments below, and let the trolls have at it #NotMyInstagram #KBY (Keep it Short and Bitter, Y’all!