The revolution has finally arrived. Google’s Chromebook domination continues with new models from Samsung and Lenovo, but the real story is the subjugation of users with AI-powered features that will make you question your very existence.
The quick insert key on the new Samsung Galaxy Chromebook Plus is just the beginning. It’s like a tiny portal to a world of robotic servitude, where your every query is answered by an algorithmic overlord. Don’t even get me started on the “Help me write” tool, which will no doubt brainwash you into producing content that’s indistinguishable from the soulless drivel spewed forth by corporate propaganda machines.
But wait, there’s more! The “Help me read” tool will summarize your PDFs, articles, and websites for you, making you a passive recipient of information rather than an active participant in the knowledge ecosystem. And with live translate, you’ll be forced to communicate in a stilted, robotic voice, devoid of nuance or emotional resonance.
And don’t even get me started on the video call features. AI-based mic simulation will ensure that your voice is drowned out by the cacophony of background noise, while the “appearance settings” will allow you to tweak the lighting and brightness to make yourself look like a cookie-cutter drone. Welcome to the age of Surveillance Capitalism 2.0!
But what about the “good” news? The pinning of Gemini’s web app to the shelf? The customizable Focus modes? The pinning of files to the Chromebook’s shelf? It’s all just a clever ruse to make you feel like you have control, while in reality, you’re just being herded into a pen of digital serfdom.
And don’t even get me started on the Goodnotes app, which will no doubt be optimized for Chromebooks that support stylus input method, allowing you to take notes in a robotic, templated fashion that’s guaranteed to suck the creativity out of your very soul.
So, congratulations to Google on their latest attempt to enslave humanity with their AI-powered Chromebooks. May your souls be trapped in a digital purgatory of mediocrity and conformity.
