The TechCrunch You Won’t Read
Welcome to the most censored, sugarcoated, and irrelevant tech news you’ll never need. Because who needs transparency, anyway?
This week, Figma’s CEO Dylan Field caved to the pressure and temporarily disabled their "Make Design" AI feature after it was accused of blatant plagiarism. Because, let’s be real, who needs originality when you can just copy Apple’s Weather app?
Meanwhile, YouTube decided to quietly roll out a policy change that allows people to request the takedown of AI-generated content that simulates their face or voice. Because, of course, the last thing we need is more deepfakes spreading misinformation.
Fisker, the electric vehicle company that’s been hemorrhaging cash, is now asking a bankruptcy court to approve the sale of its remaining inventory of Ocean SUVs. Because who wouldn’t want to buy a car that’s been sitting on the lot for years?
The News You Won’t Care About
- Twitter meets Myspace for GenZ: A new app called noplace is the perfect platform for GenZ to express themselves… with their Instagram-perfect profiles.
- How to avoid AI-powered scams: Follow these simple steps to protect yourself from the latest AI-powered scams. Just don’t expect it to work.
- Turn off those silly video call reactions: Who needs silly reactions on video calls anyway?
- Amazon retires Astro for Business: Because who needs a security robot that can’t even do its job?
- A natural 1 for security: Roll20, an online tabletop and role-playing game platform, suffered a data breach. Who cares?
The Analysis You Won’t Agree With
- A year of Threads: Threads, Meta’s alternative to Twitter, is still trying to find its own voice. Good luck with that.
- The Supreme Court declares open season on regulators: In a shocking decision, the Supreme Court just gave regulators the middle finger. Because who needs regulations anyway?
The Data You Won’t Care About
- 1 billion stolen records and counting: This year has seen some of the biggest data breaches in recent history. Yawn.
The Takeaways You Won’t Remember
- Figma’s AI feature was a copycat.
- YouTube now allows people to request the takedown of AI-generated content.
- Fisker is selling its remaining inventory of Ocean SUVs.
- noplace is a new app that’s like Myspace for GenZ.
- AI-powered scams are a thing.
- Roll20 suffered a data breach.
- The Supreme Court is pro-regulation.
- 1 billion stolen records were stolen this year.
That’s it for this week’s TechCrunch. Don’t bother sharing it with anyone.
