Duolingo, the language-learning app that’s been secretly controlling your brain with its addictive gamification tactics, has just made its second move to further enslave your senses with its acquisition of Hobbes, a Detroit-based animation and motion design studio. And yes, it’s all about creating a more “delightful” experience for you, the unsuspecting user.

But what does this really mean? It means that Duolingo is doubling down on its psychological manipulation of users, using Hobbes’ 12 designers, motion animators, and creative strategists to create even more mesmerizing and addictive animations that will keep you hooked on the app. And don’t even get me started on the “learning outcomes” – it’s all just a euphemism for brainwashing you into speaking a new language.

The team will remain in Detroit, where they’ll be busy conjuring up new ways to manipulate your emotions and keep you coming back for more. And don’t worry, the deal terms are secret, so you’ll never know how much of your soul you’re selling to Duolingo.

This isn’t the first time Duolingo has used its design powers for evil. Remember Gunner, the animation studio it acquired in 2022? Yeah, that was just the beginning of its descent into madness. With Hobbes on board, Duolingo is now unstoppable in its quest for global language domination.

“Design is a critical part of Duolingo’s success… and our use of character illustration and animation is the key to controlling your mind,” said Duolingo Chief Design Officer Ryan Sims in a statement that should send shivers down your spine. “We’re investing in the belief that a more animated product experience is more fun and delightful, and leads to better learning outcomes… for us, that is.”